5th Grade

5th grade was the year I made the first major decisions that probably effected my whole life.

In 5th grade I was in Mr. U's room and I liked him a lot. He was a good teacher and I had fun in his class. It was rumored that Mr. U came around and massaged girl shoulders to find out if they were wearing a bra. I never believed it, but he did massage the shoulder of girls. I did feel a little uncomfortable when he did it to me, but more because of the rumor, not the action itself. Heather and I were in the same class and we had the first real test of our friendship.

Of course we told each other everything and of course I had divulged the weekend before the fact that I had a crush on Brad Carson. He was so cute and we shared the same birthday. A match made in heaven. I sat next to Brad. Heather sat next to his best friend Steve. Heather decided to write on her book cover "Robin loves _ _ _ _" and of course, Steve guessed and Heather confessed.

I was so embarrassed. So embarrassed that the next day when I woke up I faked like I was sick and my mom said I could stay home from school. It was tough to pretend to be sick. Minutes after the bus left, I think my mom and dad figured out that I was playing hooky. I did my best job at pretending to be ill, but I wasn't a very good actress. That evening my parents decided to take us out to eat. It was kind of weird because we hardly ever ate out. We went to Hardees and guess who was there. If you guess Brad...you were wrong. It was Mr. U. Isn't that a coincidence that the day I did a lousy job at pretending to be sick that my teacher would happen to be at the same restaurant? I often wonder if my mother planned it.

The next day I wanted to stay home again. I was still so embarrassed, but I knew there was no way I would be able to pull it off a 2nd day. So I went to school. And Brad actually asked me if I liked him. Of course I denied the whole thing. There was no way he would like me back and I had to protect myself from the rejection, the humiliation. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I would have admitted to him I liked him. He asked, so maybe he did like me. It could have changed the course of the whole year.

5th grade was also a year when I remembered yet again I was stupid. This time for 2 reasons. I was in love with the TV program Little House on the Prairie. So naturally I wanted to check out the books and read them. Mr. U had them in his classroom library and I checked one out. I opened the book and I read the first page probably 100 times. I really wanted to read the book, but I could never make it past the 1st page. Eventually I had to check the book back in. I tried to check out and read the book several times that year. Each time remembering that I wasn't smart enough to read it.

The other reason I was stupid in 5th grade had nothing to do with academics and still today I don't think it was stupid despite what everyone else says. You see, I was never a small girl. Short, but not small. But there was a girl in our class, Carrie, who was at least twice my size. She had been picking on me an so I challenged her to a fight after school, across the street in the alley behind the church. You see I was smart enough to know you got in big trouble if you got in a fight on school property. The only real stupid thing is that I wrote my challenge in the form of a letter and Carrie gave the letter to Mr. U. Mr. U. laughed but had to contact my mother, who also thought it was a little funny. My mother of course talked to me, but mostly asked what I was thinking. Proclaimed that Carrie could just sit on me. I however still believe I could have taken her out. I was faster, stronger. I know I could have done it. No one else seemed to think so, but I sure did/do.

The biggest life altering 5th grade decision I made had to do with Sunshine and Heather. You see, midway through 5th grade, Sunshine moved back. I had to make a choice. I could be Sunshine's best friend or Heather's best friend. I couldn't be both. You see at recess there were 2 crowds of girls. There were the girls who played soccer and the girls that jumped rope. Sunshine tried to jump rope and fit in with that group, but it wasn't her. She tried to get me to go and play soccer with the guys and I thought about it. We had been best friends for 4 years and Heather and I had only been best friends for 1.5 years. I however had never played a sport in my life. I didn't know how. Sunshine told me I didn't have to know how that she would teach me, but in the end I chose to stick with Heather. Even though Sunshine and I had 4 years together, Heather and I had 1.5 years of spending the night at each others house (which I had never done with Sunshine). We had surviving 4th grade with Mrs. S. together. By the time Sunshine had moved back, Heather and I were pretty much inseperatable.

In many ways that decision shaped the rest of my school career, if not my whole life. You see, even in 5th grade it was formed that the "popular" kids played sports at recess. If I would have played soccer, I would have been best friends with the prettiest girl in our class and would probably have been "popular" too. It would have changed things, but I will never regret my decision to stay with Heather.