Civil War

I live in a small world. I don't really get involved in politics much, but my husband really does. 

He is vocal about his beliefs. 

That's just who he is. 

I am definitely keep my opinions to myself. 

That's just who I am.

There is one thing my husband is sort of right on. He talks of a civil war based on the election. 

I believe that the Civil War started 12 years ago when Obama was elected President. Not a war with guns and battlefields. A war of words. Each side constantly putting the other side down. Dividing the country.

The Civil War was in the 1860's. In the last 160 years we have changed the way in which we battle. We battle behind keyboards. Thankfully there is less death associated with a war of words, but it affects our country none the less. I don't know when this war will end. Obviously not within the next 4 years. So there is my political 2 cents. 

I killed my guinea pig...

 I killed my guinea pig... I live with this knowledge every time I remember our beloved Chloe.

One of the first things we (my 3 older children and I) did when I separated from my now ex husband was we got a guinea pig. We named her Chloe. She was a tri colored long haired guinea pig. I believe they call them Abyssinian guinea pigs. She looked similar to this:

She was the sweetest guinea pig. She greeted us every time we walked in the door. She enjoyed cuddling. We gave her baths in the sink and cut her hair when it grew out and she couldn't see anymore. We all loved Chloe. She was a part of our family. We even took Chloe with us on a road trip of  2000 mile (round trip) to Georgia and back. 

We had run out of food and they were out of stock of guinea pig food at our local Walmart. They did however, have plenty of rabbit food. It looks exactly the same, so I grabbed it. We didn't even give it a second thought. But as the days went on we noticed that Chloe wasn't acting like herself. The bag of rabbit food was almost gone, but she had stopped eating and drinking. She wouldn't even eat the leafy vegetables we offered her that she normally loved. After researching her symptoms on Google, something popped up about rabbit food being poisonous to guinea pigs and I immediately knew exactly what I had done. By the time I realized I had poisoned our guinea pig, it was too late. She died soon after. We buried her in our yard and placed a stone over her final resting place that a good friend had given me when my mother passed away. I know that Chloe wouldn't still be alive today as she would have eventually passed of old age, but still...it still feels bad that I killed our guinea pig.

Lost my keys

  It's been a long day. I'm driving down the road while searching in my purse for my car keys. I don't even know what I need my car keys for since they're in the ignition of the vehicle that I'm driving.

It isn't really abnormal to be looking for something in plain site. The glasses on top of your head... the cellphone you are currently using...or in this case, the car keys that are in the ignition of the vehicle you are actually driving. But alas... it happens to me often...Does it happen to you?

--3 years ago

Fisher Price Farm Set

I know many people had this toy in the 70's. It is a true classic. However, I doubt many people don't harbor unforgiveness from this childhood toy. You see, one time a very long time ago my older brother Scott and my younger brother John were in my bedroom that had been converted into a storage room with only a small place for my toys since I was scared to sleep in my own bedroom and chose to sleep in my brother's room instead. We spent an evening taking things apart to see how they worked. I chose only the toys I was willing to part with. Now this barn was one of my favorite toys so it was off limits to have us explore its mechanics. However, at some point days later, my little brother decided to open it up anyway and it never mooed again... I remind him often on how he ruined my favorite toy. I don't know if I will ever be able to forgive him for this violation of my beloved toy barn!

Blog Before Bed

I want to be a writer. I don't have to be a published writer, but I want to share my crazy world. I want to write just to write. Let's face it, some day I want someone to take an active interest in my writing. Perhaps my children or grandchildren when I am gone. A picture into my world. So today I am going to try and begin a new habit of blogging before bed time. I discovered how I would be able to go back in time and write all my stories a few months ago. Facebook is a wonderful tool and gives us memories each day of posts we have made. So that's how I am going to start. Use those memories to jog my own memory of the stories in the every day life of me... So, here is to day 1 of my new writing habit!

Sleep

Sleep. Superficial
Unneeded
Eyes burning
With the sting of weariness
Caffeine at my fingertips
Doing little to revive
Head groggy
Tongue loose
Incoherent speech
Reminding me of a previous life
When sleep was superficial
Unneeded.

As a little girl
Not wanting to go to sleep
Using ever excuse
To try and stay up late
“I’m not tired”
“Just a little bit longer”
Excuses not working
Holding in the yawn
Not wanting them to see
Trying to convince them
Sleep is superficial
Unneeded

Back in college
I would often sit
On the rim of exhaustion
Not falling off
Able to function with even less
Day after day
Not needing it
I’m not as young
Can I go back
To those days when
Sleep was superficial
Unneeded

Newborn baby in my arms
Rocking gently
Back and forth
Feeding, comforting
Singing gentle lullabies
Baby smiling up at me.
At the slightest cry
I would wake in a flash
I was needed
Rest would have to wait.
Sleep was superficial
Unneeded

And now I have
A glossy look in my eye
Mind wandering
Drifting away
Barely conscious
But I must go on
As the day goes by
More life being drained
Lifelessly going
Through the motions
Knowing sleep is superficial
Unneeded

My eyes are getting heavy
The sleepiness is over coming
With a jerk of the head
I’m awake again
How long can I continue
In this state of unrest
I can’t keep them open
Can’t fight it off any more
I have lost the battle
Sleep has come
No longer superficial.
Needed

McDinner

I highly doubt I have an original idea here. Nor do I think I am about to coin the phrase. Really, it was a Freudian slip. My 7 year old declared he wanted McDonald's today and I was trying to tell him we were not going to McDonald's for dinner and instead I said we are not having McDinner. So I have decided every time we go to McDonald's for dinner, I will call it McDinner and the world should fallow in my footsteps so I can become famous!

I am a terrible parent. It's the truth. I know I should fix meals low in fat, sugar and with plenty of fruits and vegetables. But, I often choose to McDinner. My two oldest children are off to college. My 16 year old daughter is often at activities. My husband eats at strange times, so often it is just me and my 7 year old who needs fed. He hates vegetables. Its a battle to get him to eat them. I am an old parent now. With my 3 other children, I would take on the vegetable battle, but I find with my younger son (almost 10 year gap between you 2 youngest), I am less ambitious to fight the vegetable battle. Instead of cooking a meal for my 7 year old and I, it just seems easier to run through the drive thru and McDinner. No dishes. No prep. I'm pretty busy. Often don't leave school until around 6pm. I'm tired. I have work to do. McDinner just always seems like a good idea.

So yes. I often fill my 7 year old son up with empty calories. Dr. Pepper to drink. Fries. Double cheeseburger or 6 count nuggets depending on the day. What's worse about McDinner as often as we have it...My 7 year old is overweight. 99th percentile. I know that's bad. Heck, I'm overweight. Obese in fact. My own weight loss goals are to no longer be "obese', but just overweight. I really should be a better parents. I should not let my 7 year old convince me to McDinner.

So, what's on the menu for dinner tonight? I have NO idea! Will it be McDinner? Maybe. Will I magically become a good parent? I highly doubt it.